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existentialgumchewer asked:

Hermione and Ron's Wedding

themaraudersaredead:

  • The wedding is in the autumn and they get married in a chapel near Hermione’s parents house because the Weasley garden has housed a thousand weddings by then and it was time to change things.
  • Hermione is rubbish at being a girl, but unfortunately Ginny is her maid of honor and is equally rubbish at being a girl. This basically means Fleur and Mrs. Weasley plan most of the wedding, which would ordinarily give Hermione nightmares but they were very kind in letting her have final say in their choices.
  • Its small and simple and overrun with too many Weasleys and Ginny ends up hexing a stray reporter, but Hermione doesn’t find out about that until after.
  • Ron ends up breaking his arm an hour before the ceremony because he’s freaking out and each of his brothers keep offering him a shot of Firewhiskey “for the nerves” without knowing the others are doing it, so Ron accidentally gets drunk and falls down a small half flight of stairs. Harry — who was suppose to be the best man that monitors the groom, for fucks sake, Potter — laughs and takes pictures while Charlie has to heal Ron’s arm before their mum finds out. Percy manages to slip out to find something to sober Ron up, but Fleur finds them before he can get back and yells at all of them. Its in French, but still terrifying and Bill winces a lot so you know its bad, and she orders them to go get her ingredients while she brews some potion she uses for Bill to calm him down near full moon nights.
  • Thus, Ron is sore and sleepy and a little tipsy when he gets married, but Hermione isn’t any better off.
  • Because while Ron was doing that, Hermione was on the other half of the chapel letting Fleur and Mrs. Weasley argue over her hair (“Worse than Harry’s, I swear—”) and Luna keeps trying to tell her to wear these weird earrings that will bid them good tidings for the marriage and make sure Hermione isn’t going to get cold feet (“I already let you decorate the church with that weird powder and fruit stuff, Luna, I’m not wearing your weird jewelry too”). Then Ginny accidentally rips her bridesmaid dress trying to wrangle Teddy, Victoire, Roxanne, and Dominique together and Dominique spits up on Hermione’s actual bridal gown while she’s wearing it. So Hermione is freaking out and nearly in tearsbut Fleur is aggressively comforting her telling her “not to cry you’ll ruin your make up —” but its only making it worse because Fleur is scary and then Angelina pokes her head in and says “About an hour til show time,” takes a glance around, and immediately leaves because nope. Luckily Andromeda comes to sweep the children out of the way and get them settled and Hermione’s mum comes in, apologizing for being late but its alright because she can do Hermione’s hair, its her mum after all. Fleur abandons them to check on the men, Mrs. Weasley fixes Hermione’s dress into perfection once again, Ginny’s gotten pretty skilled at getting rid of rips and stains in dresses she’s suppose to keep clean, and Hermione’s make up doesn’t run.
  • The time spent on the alter is done with Hermione nervously twitching and looking beautiful but slightly maniac, and Ron looking ragged and bruised but he’s drugged so Harry just tells everyone that dopey, flushed look is from the excitement of the day and being in love with Hermione. 
  • Harry’s best man speech is full of “um” and “er” and he tries to tell the story about the troll but he doesn’t tell it right and McGonagall is sitting at a table, eyebrows climbing so he gets nervous and cuts off and mumbles something about going through a lot together and being happy for them and that one Rita Skeeter article about him and Hermione wasn’t true because he thinks of her like a sister and Ginny finally cuts him off and makes her speech which is short and to the point and Neville makes one that somehow ends with him cutting off Nagini’s head while Hannah pulls at his sleeve and hisses “you’ve done it again Neville for godsake not every story needs to end with that, sit down —”
  • As is custom in every Weasley tradition since the war, Ron lights a brilliantly flamed candle that stays the whole night in honor of Fred. 
  • Hermione ends up crying and ruining her make up but by then Fleur is already halfway sloshed so she doesn’t notice. Halfway through the dancing, Harry tries to make another speech as Ginny drags him back down saying, “I should have told them about when they first kissed, I was right there and it was when Voldemort was attacking… It would have been a better story, hold on, Ginny —” 
  • Mr. Granger gets drunk and accidentally offers eight people free cavity cleanings (Arthur takes him up on that and its a delightful and awkward affair); Molly Weasley sobs and clutches at her grandchildren because now all her babies are married; Teddy gorges on too much cake and throws up; Victoire ends up screaming and punches Teddy because she was the one he threw up on; Bill gets weepy on Ginny’s shoulder for a solid half hour in a manner similar to their mum; and Hermione and Ron sneak off to half-drunkenly reenact the first time they kissed until Luna and Percy find them and Percy has to bleach his eyes. 
  • Mr. Granger and George take loads of pictures and the new Mr. and Mrs. Weasley both cringe every time they look at them. 

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